My analyst has become one of the most important people in this world to me - even though crying after every session makes talking to her the most difficult part of the week.

Last session, particularly, showed up pretty tough - I was lucky to have my boyfriend by my side, I cried all day long.

I found out many things last week.

First:
It's hard to find out that some people don't really love you. They love to be loved or honored, and that is all. I pay a very expensive price for them to love me back - my happiness, my respect, my mental health, my choices in life.

Second:
It's also hard to find out that one mistake does not make another right, and making several mistakes because you want redemption to yourself and to please the other's wishes is not the right thing to do.

Third:
Accept your choices, make them right, deal with them - that's the right path.

I'm the only one who has experienced my own life, no one can live it or judge it for me. People can help you to put everything together, but you always have to be the first to notice that something is wrong with you and that you have to figure out how to fix it.

Even though I am aware of it, I was terrified to notice that I am taking psychoanalysis being an 18-year-old girl.